


sanji's squad

by usopp



Category: One Piece
Genre: M/M, Soup, dont question it, implied acesan, mom im sorry., soup warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-21
Updated: 2015-07-21
Packaged: 2018-04-10 10:42:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4388720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/usopp/pseuds/usopp
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>sanji goes on a journey of self discovery.</p>
            </blockquote>





	sanji's squad

sanji was a fine heterosexual, white, menemist male of the male sex. he was living a fine life with his crew, the kitchenors. his squad. his bffls. 

then some fucking pirates showed up. a man made purely of homosexuality and a fucking demon a straight up demon. a very attravtive woman with big boobies too., there might have also been a guy with a dick for a nose and he HATED SANji,.

sanji was confused. he had never actually spoken to a woman before. she had a boob. two boobs. he was overwhelmed. and then suddenly she stole a fucking ship and was gone. the demon screamed alot and got a lot ot ketchup on his chest. it wasnt ketchup. it was blood. the small man screamed at him. sanji was so confused because he had never seen homosexuals in his entire life.

he was then shoved on a boat with a small man who screamed at him. he didnt know what was happening. he just knew he was on a quest for boobs. he must suceed. 

the small man retrieved tje boobes. dicknose stared at him alot. the demon tried to eat him at one point. suddenly he was a pirate. he cooked soup. so much soup. 

one time he made so much soup it attracted a shirtless man. where did he come from. he drank the soup. sanji was disgusted. one thing led to another and he sucked his dick. "im not gay though" sanji said after putting his shirt back on. the guy looked at him. "you wont be thinking that when you battle sebastian from black buter fused with zeus, king of the heterosexual empire." sanji spilled soup on him in rage.  
the guy left because of sanjis emotional issues. he was probably a hooker anyways. sanji cried angrily alot. he tried to convince himself it was because he drank the soup.  
he didnt notice dicknose's extreme thirst for his tight, 'opressed' asshole. he just wanted the fucking soup. sanji let him have the soup with no cock sucking allowed.  
dicknose cried alot.  
suddenly his squad was on mt. olympus. there was alot of hot boob angels. they sparkled with their premium hairdye and shirts brighter than the neon tees from justice.  
sanji, by this point, was doubting his heterosexuality. big boob was captured and sanji made it his goal to rescuse her. dicknose was there too but he tried not to care.  
things led to another. like the flaming prophet buzz lightyear from toy story 3, it turns out he WOULD battle sebastian from black butler fused with zeus, his lord and savior. the new jesus. his main man.

but his biggest mistake was throwing dicknose out of the way and dead at big boobes. he wasnt thinking clearly and threw him at her. it was awfully tragic and he doesnt know how he lived. he doesnt even remember why. they got out of olympus eventually and back in the middle of wadanohara and the great blue ocean. samekichi spit on his soup. sanji punched a shark in the face.

things led to peaceful times. sanji was watching cory in the house with his minion tshirt on. it was 3am. let it go was blaring from bigger boob's speakers. dicknose walked into the room and sat down next to him. "but im not gay" sanji said in response from dicknose asking him for a chip. dicknose left in rage immedaitly. sanji didnt know why. he assumed it was from his tiddy-loving aura.  
it was actually because dicknose was crying.  
sanji embraced a life of soup from then. he didnt know why he was making so much soup from frustration. big boob knew it was from his homosexual frustration. he was still in that phase.

one day, their 800 foot long goat stopped producing milk and began to die. dicknose wanted more milk. he was so thirsty it was his only way of surving. confused, he ran off to be with the beartholdt and reiner from attack on titan. they told him to come back to the goat because there was a better goat.

sanji was crying the entire time. he felt like a 40 year old 4chan user who posted hentai in the dance moms category. dicknose returned to the new and completeed simba, made by the new and mysterious transformer.  
sanji asked for dicknose to kiss him. dicknose agreed and proceeded with kissing him.

sanji. having a hetero crisis, screamed at the top of his lungs "IM NOT GAY THOUGH"

dicknose spilled bigger boobs hot coffe down his back and he died


End file.
